Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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