Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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