Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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