he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
