we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
