i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
