cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
