I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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