Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
