Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you will always have a special place in my vag
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
