He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
