you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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