awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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