a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
