god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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