I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
