fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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