She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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