And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
