Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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