I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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