What a fucking waste of an outfit
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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