I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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