no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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