How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
