Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
