I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
