Ambien. No doubt about it.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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