Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
