i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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