He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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