I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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