ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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