So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
