i think my tv is drunk
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
