i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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