drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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