Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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