I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Still dying that you shit outside
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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