i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
