Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
