No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Randomize