I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
