One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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