My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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