i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
