this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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