also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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