He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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