If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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