Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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