I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's never too late to be topless.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
