i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
