i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
