did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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