I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
