Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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