why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
sex in a hospital.. check
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
