we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
