pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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