It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I lost the right to judge tonight
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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