Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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